He was in the first third grade class I
taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but
Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive
attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.
Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking
without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere
response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving: "Thank you for correcting
me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became
accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often,
and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at him and said, "If you say one
more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when
Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students
to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had
to act on it.
I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my
desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without
saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X
with them over his mouth.
I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how
he was doing he winked at me.
That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to
Mark's desk, removed the tape and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank
you for correcting me, Sister."
At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years
flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome
than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instructions in the
"new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in the third.
One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new
concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with
themselves--and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of
hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of
paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing
they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish the assignment, and as
the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said,
"Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend."
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet
of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday I gave
each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling.
"Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to
anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much!"
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they
discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had
accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned
from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me
the usual questions about the trip--the weather, my experiences in general. There was a
light lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance and I simply said,
"Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something
important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began.
"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I
wonder how Mark is."
Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said.
"The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To
this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark. I had
never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature.
All I could think at that moment was, Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world
if only you would talk to me.
The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The
Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It
was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler
played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled
it with holy water.
I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the
soldiers who had acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math
teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked
about you a lot," he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's
farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his
pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize
it."
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook
paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. I knew without
looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of
Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that" Mark's
mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."
Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather
sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at
home."
Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding
album."
"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her
wallet, and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at
all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our
lists."
That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his
friends who would never see him again.
The original story appeared in Proteus. Condensed in the October, 1991,
Reader's Digest.
Also compiled by Alice Gray in Stories For The Heart, © 1996, Vision House Publishing,
Inc.
The purpose of this is to encourage everyone to compliment the people you
love, care about, and work with. We often tend to forget the importance of showing our
affections and love. Sometimes the smallest of things could mean the most to another.
I am asking you to please send this letter around and spread the message
and encouragement, to express your love and caring by complimenting and being open with
communication. The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will
end one day.
And we don't know when that one day will be. Tell the people you love and
care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
Philippians 1:3:
"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God."
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