LITTLE JOHNNYISMS
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class
by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, standup!" After a few seconds,
Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful,"
said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the
matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on
him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny
quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told
him how Eve was created out of on of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him
lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little
Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station
where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One
of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted
person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to
capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his
picture?"
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