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Bill's Choice
(The "Irony' Gates)

I'm sure you've probably heard this one before, but I get a
kick out of it time and time again.
That inevitable day arrived when Bill Gates passed on and he found himself standing in
front of the Pearly Gates (no relation, of course).
As he approached, Saint Peter appeared and chided him, "So Bill, do these clouds look
a little familiar? I told The Boss he should have asked you for a royalty every time you
used one on a box. They ARE His, you know"
"You must have a little bit of the devil in you, Saint Peter", responded Bill.
"Speaking of the devil, have we got a deal for you. Being the great Bill Gates, and
all, The Boss said you can visit both heaven and 'that other place' and decide where you
want to spend your eternity.
Bill chose to visit heaven first and was quite pleased to learn it was everything he had
envisioned. But out of curiousity, he couldn't resist the opportunity to visit the
alternative.
When they reached their destination Bill was truly astounded. It was a warm day at the
beach! Blue skies, palm trees and white sand framed the glistening ocean that provided a
pleasant breeze. Seagulls floated effortlessly over head as the waves murmured gently
against the shore. Polite waiters in white tuxedoes with tails served cold drinks with
little umbrellas in them as the chefs prepared a succulent meal over an open fire. Guests
reclined in comfortable lounge chairs under open air cabanas with thatched roofs. A reggae
band added a finely textured finish to the ambience one would expect in paradise.
"This is truly unbelievable", commented Bill, as crowds of attractive, tan,
bikini clad young women played frisbee and volleyball or frolicked in the surf. A golden
labrador retriever nuzzled up against Bill's knee as if to say "I'm your best
friend."
"Saint Peter, I know this sounds absurd, but this
place is great! I'm going to stay right here", Bill exclaimed!
"OK, Bill, it's up to you. If you're sure then I'll be
leaving. I'll check back with you in a couple of weeks."
True to his word, Saint Peter dropped back in after a couple of weeks had passed. Bill was
chained to a wall with flames licking at his boots. "Saint Peter, what
happened", asked Bill? As soon as you left I was chained to this wall and I've been
here ever since. I'm literally burning up. I've been whipped and beaten and kicked.
Where's the hell you showed me"
"Oh for heaven's sake, Bill" fretted Saint Peter, . . . didn't I mention . . .
. . . that was just a demo."
Thanks go out to Jim Johnson for "Bill's
Choice"
and DKS for the appropriate "renaming"!
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